[Main Index]

06/29/2002 Entry: "economic summits plaguing your cities?"

Economic Summits Plaguing Your Cities?
Introducing the STOOL CANON!
by voxfux


Tired of all these pesky industrialists comming to your city, erecting chain link fences and barracades so that they can conduct their economic summits insulated from the accountability and democratic processes normaly found in a functioning democracy? In the process demeaning and insulting the masses of humanity who don't want them there?

The Answer? "The Stool Canon."

Made out of common household materials and surgical hose the stool canon can hurl human, dog or cat feces over the tops of buildings and across city blocks and onto the hairdoo's of arriving industrialists. And make their "red carpet affair" a Polka dotted affair instead.

The canon is scalable so that as they fence off larger and larger segments of cities to have their feeding frenzies in, the people can simply build a larger and larger stool canon.

It's great for the whole family!

Your kids will learn that life is better spent on the roof with good friends hurling stools onto wretched old industrialists below, then being the retched old industrialist sucking the life out of the people and resources of the earth.

Why the need for the stool canon? What about peaceful protest

Well it's multifold. You see industrialists are on a rampage. They are quite happy when a group quietly and peacefully protests, they simply close the door and ignore, and continue their plundering in a carefree manner. However when cars get turned over and whole blocks of glass get smashed they or their insurance companies will simply have to take note and listen. The smashing of windows is a mirror or reflection albeit on a vastly smaller scale of the human suffering that their rampaging industrialization causes to the people of the world.

Resources are dwindling that's a fact. And economics and resources really are a "zero sum game" at this point. (Which means as one person gets richer another inevitably gets poorer) Anyone who tries to claim any differently is themselves either an industrialist or an industrialist wanna-be (In service to industrialists but not able to reap the benefits of the wholesale rape that industrialists benefit from) There is no longer any accountability or democratic principles as these pigs ravage across the lands and cultures of the earth leaving only poverty violence and polluted earth in their wake. And so it becomes an imperative that these people must be stopped.

It is the responsibility of the few remaining people with awareness and morality, honor and decency to stand up and resist these monsters of capital. The stool canon is a powerful symbol. It sends a clear message to all about how we feel about these simpleminded industrialists who subject their own lives to the ravages of capitalism and all the moral and spiritual emptiness that comes with it. Capitalism is the shit stain of humanity. So it's only natural that shit stains get the shit canon.

The theory behind direct action such as the stool canon and black bloc actions.

Here's how it works. The key to the stool canon is the surgical hose used in the sling shot mechanism.

Coming soon: It's raining diarrhea!

Viewer Commentary: 5 comments


The Stool Canon is both haliarious and urgently needed.

Barbera Bush

Posted by Barbera Bush @ 06/30/2002 02:31 PM EST

That is the funniest shit I have ever read.

Posted by activist @ 07/05/2002 04:15 PM EST

Stool cannons. Yea!
Sometimes I can never tell if you are serious or not. Do you really propose the stool cannon. Not that I would be against it, it sounds like one very possible "solution" to our problem. I just need to know if you are serious and if maybe we could gat a glimpse of the famed stool cannon.

Posted by VampireX @ 07/06/2002 11:39 AM EST

Right on my Brother! The Stool cannon is actually the best idea I have heard to demoralize the arrogant bastards who are just rampaging around the world sucking it dry. They need to be covered in shit from head to toe and maybe they will be reluctant to gather in their "Feeding Frenzies."

Posted by Anti Globalilist @ 07/06/2002 02:52 PM EST

Hey, throwing stool is wrong. It carries disease and you might hurt sombody. Violence only brings violence. If you want to stop the "capitalists" stop spending your money. Peace. But it would be fun to fire shit really really far.

Posted by Mike @ 07/06/2002 11:15 PM EST

Add A New Comment


E-Mail (optional)

Homepage (optional)


Powered By Greymatter